Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Emotion, Vulnerability, Destructive Voices

I found Taylor Swift's movie Folklore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions profoundly moving. It's filmed intimately and largely without artifice. It also speaks powerfully to the moment inside the pandemic in which we find ourselves. 

"It's an album that allows you to feel your feelings," Swift says at one point.

I came across the movie unexpectedly and knew little about Taylor Swift--passing headlines, the occasional pop song, an ad she did for Coke, an article I read about her queer fans poring over her lyrics. The result was that I was unprepared (or perhaps perfectly prepared) to be walloped by her creation.

The feeling was so powerful that I became interested in my own response to the movie. How much of it had to do with being in a vulnerable state, as we all are at some level inside the pandemic? And how much of it had to do with Swift sort of going for it?

So, yeah, just interested in that dynamic of working on a project and hearing all these editorial voices, many of them destructive and desirous of killing the creative fervor. There are so many reasons not to write anything, and a lot of what I find myself doing these days is bantering in my head with these voices, reasoning, cajoling, dismissing, conceding, then reengaging. 

I think such voices can be important at times to listen to in shaping the story, but if the story has its own emotional energy, it still needs to exist. Readers don't have to read it. 

Here's a page from Frankie B of Night Deliveries. His artwork is impeccable and stunning, IMHO. 

A lot of voices pinging me on this story; it feels vital. I'm going with the vital. 




Friday, January 15, 2021

Next Up for Adaptation - "Tribute"

TRIBUTE
Tilly Syreeta Bancroft
(1920-2005)

The first time I met Tilly, it was all about the eyes. She had the biggest prettiest eyes in the world. They were like two flecks of sky, blue-marbled and cool. I was the third man back in the line of stunt doubles for Ray Bolger and she was a Munchkin Villager in Yellow Sun Dress. It was the morning they were shooting Dorothy’s arrival at the village.

Chuck Waller, who played the Munchkinland Mayor, was strutting around the set telling people where to go and how to get there, as usual, so I opted for a quieter spot around back. On Mr. Bolger’s recommendation, I’d spent the day before at the zoo’s gibbon exhibit, getting a feel for the awkward grace of those lopey buggers. No better teacher than nature, Mr. Bolger liked to say. So there I was in a deserted corner of the MGM lot, hooking the back of my overalls onto a jury-rigged cruciform, when the nail snapped and sent me tumbling to the ground. Very ungibbon-like.

Fade to black and all that. Next thing I knew, there in front of me was a vision of two patches of Nebraska sky trying to resolve themselves into the most tender pair of blue eyes I’d ever seen.  

“Are you okay, Mr. Scarecrow?”  

The voice was as delicate as a piece of thread. I was sure I’d died and was being escorted into the blue yonder by the holiest angel in God’s heaven. Her hair brushed my forehead like a tassel of golden corn silk and whisked me back to a time when all us kids would hide from each other in green hallways of corn. Tilly would agree that I bore an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Bolger, but I never could get her to admit that she’d mistaken me for the real Scarecrow.  


After a day of shooting, Tilly and a group of Munchkin actors often unwound at a juke joint on Ventura. I started dropping by and that’s how we grew close. Oz intoxicated all of us. The whole cast—but especially those of us who hadn’t found much work until then—sensed that we were part of something bigger. She was from Ferndale, California, and I was from Red Cloud, Nebraska, a couple of small-town kids who just connected on the idea that anything seemed possible. Oz was the biggest score either of us had made since moving to la-la-land. 

Sure there were blue moments. Aleister Blackwell, who played an uncredited Munchkin, would have a second vodkatini and start stroking his furry sideburns and bemoaning storm clouds over Europe, claiming that the world had passed some point-of-no-return and lost its way. We humored him for a while, then Tilly and I would slip off to spend time together.  

We fell in love. But her family refused to bless our marriage plans. “It’s not right for two people of such different sizes to come together,” her mother wrote in a letter Tilly showed me. “You’ll just end up getting hurt when he tires of the novelty.”  

I told Tilly that I would gladly chop off both my legs if it would help me win her parents’ blessing. It didn’t seem right that our God-given bodies should stand in the way of true love, but Tilly put a hold on the wedding plans.  

Things kept at a standstill for a time until the war came and I got shipped to Europe. At the dock Tilly asked to be picked up, something I’d never before done in public. There we were, me in my sharp-pressed uniform and Tilly in a powder-blue dress that matched her eyes. People gawked but we didn’t care. We pressed our foreheads together. Her skin was as cool as fine china. We stepped out of time on the dock that day. I’ll never forget that embrace nor our whispered promises to be true.    

We wrote every day but in the winter of 44, her letters stopped. In June came the “Dear John.” Two days later, with the 29th Infantry, I landed at Normandy. A German land mine mangled both my legs to the knees, where they were amputated. Fate had a good chuckle at that. As I rehabbed at Walter Reed, a single thought tormented and teased me—that my injury was actually a gift, that I’d been rendered Tilly’s height so that her parents would finally accept me. Sometimes I wrote four letters a day from that hospital bed.  

No replies, though.

It was a long journey back to Red Cloud, but I finally made it and got through to Tilly on the telephone. She’d married Barry Bancroft, who played a Munchkin Tin Polisher and was four inches taller than her. She was pregnant with their first child. She cried and I could tell how hard it was for her, so after that I broke off contact.  

She and Barry had a happy life. I saw her one last time, at the 60th Oz reunion. We spotted each other across the crowded banquet hall and immediately made our way past all those people we didn’t recognize anymore. She stood on my footrests and we embraced. It was like I’d had a house on my chest for fifty years. I finally took a full breath.  

“It’s so good to see you,” she said. I simply couldn’t speak. People called out to each other, champagne corks popped, ice fell into glasses, and all I could do was look into those big blue eyes and feel like I was twenty years old again, lying on my back on the MGM lot, believing that dreams really do come true. To have woken up next to Tilly each morning would’ve made it all worthwhile. She’ll be missed.  

(Bancroft died of kidney failure in Santa Barbara, Calif.)

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Character Images - Night Deliveries


I'm excited to be working with Frankie B. Washington on the third story to be adapted, Night Deliveries. This story's not from Bloodshot Stories but appears in New Ohio Review

Here are the main characters: Carla Johnson, a USPS mail carrier-- 


And her son, a senior in high school who's about to join the Marines--

Cemetery Dance Interview on Bloodshot World

Cemetery Dance just published an interview with me about Bloodshot World. One thing that puzzles me is that I really enjoy talking about c...